Friday, February 04, 2005


Promised Gore: The Elk Incident

Oh, it was just one of those nights, I guess. You know them: There's a bit of a party going down; everybody's having a good time; everybody's getting pretty loaded. Then all of a sudden it all goes downhill and someone gets hurt. Did anybody guess who would be the one getting busted? No. I'll tell you anyways. It was JM, and if you have ever heard any of JM's stories of hurting himself (and there's a few) then it's going to come as no surprise that JM got his head cut open by a pair of elk antlers. I am not making this up.
As they do, the night started out jovially. Nobody was getting hurt except for our livers. The usual antics of drinking at the bar ensued and there was lots of liquor consumed. As you can tell by the pictures, none of this is hard to believe.

I vaguely remember things up to this point. There is video of what we're doing, but you sure as hell can't hear what we're saying. I don't even think I would like to hear what we're saying. probably the expected drunken banter.
"You guys are awesome!" Or...
"Dare you to chugg a beer!" Or...
"Man I am sooooo loaded!"
None of which would be too surprising. It isn't until Mike or JM (we haven't really been able to figure out who) decided to run at each other a la bull fighting. Then things got interesting.

Mike has the great idea that the big pair of elk's antlers that JM brought back from up North would make a great prop for the matedor bit, so he lifts them up and charges at JM. Hey, can you blame him? I sure won't. I'll blame those bastards at the Molson Brewing company - those are the ones who should pay. I do feel that I should point out one ironic fact before I show the consequences: JM had been looking forward to getting these antlers down for a long time; since at least last year. This happened less than a week after he finally got them here...

Ouch. That had to hurt. Oh wait...He was loaded so it didn't. He did feel it the next day though. My favorite part of this story if that less than ten minutes after this unfortunate accident had happened, both Mike and JM forgot how it had happened. Now Mike I could maybe understand, but JM? He had just had his head cranked in! How do you forget that!? Or maybe that question answers its self.
So anyway, I Just decide to tell them that JM had actually just walked into the antlers himself. They buy it. I just let it slide for the rest of the night.

Despite JM cutting his head open, the party pretty much continued as usual!
Lindsay showed up for a bit....

For some reason or another, Mike and I decide to interrogate Chris, a move that I won't even try to explain - I'll just show the picture...

Very strange indeed.
What could we possibly be asking him? Maybe it had something to do with his amazing vomit feat of the evening, which was truly incredible. After chugging a beer (or something) at the bar, Chris had That Look. You know, the "I...Am...Going...To...Puke. Now" look. so we jokingly put a little cup in front of him and basically tell him to puke in it. He then pukes in the tiny cup and doesn't spill a drop on the bar!! By far one of the most incredible feats of vomit I've ever seen. Then he went and wolfed the rest of guts out into the sink though...

That was pretty gross. At least he cleaned it up.

So the night wore on and on. So far in fact, that Mike at one point must have forgotten that he didn't have a pipe to smoke...

This can happen to the best of us at the best of times. Somewhere around this point JM must have remembered what Mike had done to his melon...

But then he forgot and everyone was fine.

The next morning, Mike and JM were still under the impression that JM had done the damage to himself - by then the booze had worn off and the pain had kicked in. A quick trip to the doctor's office tolf him that he would indeed live, but I had to break the news of the real events that had transpired. They didn't seem to surprised. A greasy breakfast and some strong coffee and the incident was in the past. All is well that ends well, right? Ask JM about the scar on his forehead and he might not agree.

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Delata f is the original open-sourced Anti-Frat. Dedicated to sticking it to the man; respect for every one; changing this crazy urban world we call home in a way that makes it more awesome, and of course, we party a lot, too. Located at 194 Bridge Ave. In Windsor Ontario. Be the first and coolest kid on your block to join an Anti-Frat!! See you at the Bar!!

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